I have always considered myself to have technological smarts. I'm pretty connected. I interact with my phone more than I do with real people. I "get" the ALT/CTRL/DELETE and [\] jokes, and I can communicate text shorthand with all the cool kids. Yep, I may have been born in the 70's but I am as hip as those born in the 90's. If you don't believe me, take a gander at my Facebook. That screams THIS CHICK IS FREAKING COOLER THAN COOL! What's cooler than cool? Ice cold, baby! Ice. Cold. Anyway. The point is, I know my way around technology.
I'm not a reader. When you are hanging out with your dork friends, discussing Oprah's book of the month, over a Frappe, I'm the wannabe kid in the corner. With the headphones. Playing Song Pop. The only book I have read in the past 2 years... that wasn't on a Kindergarten reading level... is Facebook. Did I mention that I was connected?? Sometimes though, I will be compelled to stay up for days at a time and read a book. This seems to happen about every two years. And the time is now. I prefer paperbacks. They fold nicely so that I can walk around and complete my motherly chores as I read... much like when I am reading my favorite book, Facebook.
So after a discussion with a friend, I decided that I wanted to read a certain book. I asked if I could borrow it. I am cheap, so I don't like to buy my books. The library isn't really an option. I am lazy and don't really return my books. Friends I like. I don't have too many of them, so I sorta value them a bit and will go out of my way to return the item. Eventually. So I ask if I could borrow the book. The only problem, the book wasn't a book. It was on a Nook. Yes, the Coca-Cola-esque product of the Kindle. Luckily, I have fooled some people into thinking that I am trustworthy and I was given the Nook on Sunday.
I'm not sure if you caught on to the fact that I play a game called Song Pop. If you missed that point maybe you were too focused on your Oprah book club discussion? Or maybe you spilled your Frappe on your white pants (Really? Do you really have the body for white pants?) and missed me? The cooler than cool chick in the corner? The one with the headphones? The one that just yelled "Fuck" out loud because she accidentally hit Eminem's name instead of Dr. Dre? Yes! That is me. I'm playing Song Pop. So Iplay am addicted to this game and on Sunday I was busy playing someone who knew their music and didn't have time for reading. Or making dinner. Or bathing kids. Or doing dishes. Or brushing my teeth. Or doing anything really that wasn't hitting a phone screen and screaming obscenities every three minutes. So I didn't even look at the Nook.
Last night I finally had the desire to break it out. I had a quick lesson on Sunday on how to work the damned thing. Yes. I was given instructions on how to read a book. But like I have mentioned, I consider myself technologically savvy. I mean, one of my best friends is in IT, so that by default makes me practically Bill Gates, right? So I didn't pay THAT much attention to how to work the thing. But how hard could it be? I break out the Nook. The Nook that was last charged before I got it.
The Nook is in this cute little green case like thing. I say cute because it is green. Green is the best color in the world, so that makes it cute. I'm really not that hard to please. I half way open the case and press the power button as I go up to lay on my bed. I know it's the power button because that was the tutorial. Also, during the tutorial, I realized a Nook is slower than dial-up when it comes to booting. WOW! But that gave me plenty of time to play Song Pop as I waited. And waited. It was turning on, because the screen said it was. However, I lack patience. So I turned the damn thing off. But the screen still said it was loading. Weird. So I turn it on again. The screen doesn't budge. So I freak. OMG! I'm gonna have to buy this chick a new Nook. That means I'm gonna have to keep this Nook. But I don't wanna Nook. the only thing you can do with a Nook is read. I don't read. Damn! UGH! So I did what any reasonable person would do. I plugged it in to the charger and turned it on and off. Nothing! Just a little light that indicated it was getting power! So I figured I'd do the next reasonable thing. Pull. The. Battery.
The nook isn't too big. It is smaller than my Netbook. My Netbook has a battery. The back of the Nook looks like my phone. My phone has a battery. I did not see ANY indication that this damned Nook has a battery. If it did, you had to be MacGyver to figure out a way in. I was gonna call my friend who also has a Nook, but it was after midnight and despite my anxiety, I didn't feel as though this negated a "WTF? It's after midnight!" call. So I did the next best thing. Google: Remove Nook Battery. Wa-la! Google told me to pry the cover off with my fingernails. I looked at my hands. Yep. I bit those off already. Thankfully, my fingers are like claws themselves and I managed to pry the thing off. In tact. Bonus! And then I saw the battery.
The battery of a Nook looks much like a phone battery. I was surprised. So I go to pull it out. Wrong. That sucker is screwed in. With a little tiny screw. Like a screw from eye glasses. Those little screws that hold your lenses in your glasses. The ones that fall out sometimes and your lens pops out. Then you have to crawl around on the floor, half blind, looking for a screw the size of a deer tick. Because that is what gets eye glass manufactures off. The thought of half blind people looking for that screw. Yeah, well that was the screw that was in the Nook. So down the stairs I go. To look for a tiny assed screwdriver so that I can pull this battery.
My husband is very tool savvy. I know that if I don't use the correct screw driver I can strip the screw. I know this because EVERY. time. I use a screw driver he tells me. Luckily I found a screw driver that worked. And unscrewed the screw. Of course I dropped the screw on the floor. Thankfully, not only was the floor clean, I was able to wear my eyeglasses so the screw was found relatively quickly. And I pulled the battery. And nothing. Screen still said it was loading. UGH! UGH! UGH! I replaced the battery, screw, back cover, and went to seek knowledge from my pal Google.
Have you ever Goggled "Frozen Nook screen"? It's a lot like Goggling side pain, nose pain, toe pain... anything like that. Yep. You automatically have cancer and you are gonna die before you get in to see your doctor. A Frozen Nook screen is the screen of death. Your machine has malfunctioned and well, you should have gotten a Kindle. Shit. I just bought a broken Nook and worse than that, I can't read the book I wanted to read. So I did what any other person would do. I plugged it in and prayed. Then I feel asleep.
When I woke up, I played Song Pop and then I tried to turn the Nook on. It booted right up! And then I saw the book titles. And then I realized how dorky my friend was. I also realized that Nook batteries don't last long at all. So if you found this post because you Goggled: Frozen Nook screen, just plug the damned thing in. Or return it and buy a Kindle.
I'm not a reader. When you are hanging out with your dork friends, discussing Oprah's book of the month, over a Frappe, I'm the wannabe kid in the corner. With the headphones. Playing Song Pop. The only book I have read in the past 2 years... that wasn't on a Kindergarten reading level... is Facebook. Did I mention that I was connected?? Sometimes though, I will be compelled to stay up for days at a time and read a book. This seems to happen about every two years. And the time is now. I prefer paperbacks. They fold nicely so that I can walk around and complete my motherly chores as I read... much like when I am reading my favorite book, Facebook.
So after a discussion with a friend, I decided that I wanted to read a certain book. I asked if I could borrow it. I am cheap, so I don't like to buy my books. The library isn't really an option. I am lazy and don't really return my books. Friends I like. I don't have too many of them, so I sorta value them a bit and will go out of my way to return the item. Eventually. So I ask if I could borrow the book. The only problem, the book wasn't a book. It was on a Nook. Yes, the Coca-Cola-esque product of the Kindle. Luckily, I have fooled some people into thinking that I am trustworthy and I was given the Nook on Sunday.
I'm not sure if you caught on to the fact that I play a game called Song Pop. If you missed that point maybe you were too focused on your Oprah book club discussion? Or maybe you spilled your Frappe on your white pants (Really? Do you really have the body for white pants?) and missed me? The cooler than cool chick in the corner? The one with the headphones? The one that just yelled "Fuck" out loud because she accidentally hit Eminem's name instead of Dr. Dre? Yes! That is me. I'm playing Song Pop. So I
Last night I finally had the desire to break it out. I had a quick lesson on Sunday on how to work the damned thing. Yes. I was given instructions on how to read a book. But like I have mentioned, I consider myself technologically savvy. I mean, one of my best friends is in IT, so that by default makes me practically Bill Gates, right? So I didn't pay THAT much attention to how to work the thing. But how hard could it be? I break out the Nook. The Nook that was last charged before I got it.
The Nook is in this cute little green case like thing. I say cute because it is green. Green is the best color in the world, so that makes it cute. I'm really not that hard to please. I half way open the case and press the power button as I go up to lay on my bed. I know it's the power button because that was the tutorial. Also, during the tutorial, I realized a Nook is slower than dial-up when it comes to booting. WOW! But that gave me plenty of time to play Song Pop as I waited. And waited. It was turning on, because the screen said it was. However, I lack patience. So I turned the damn thing off. But the screen still said it was loading. Weird. So I turn it on again. The screen doesn't budge. So I freak. OMG! I'm gonna have to buy this chick a new Nook. That means I'm gonna have to keep this Nook. But I don't wanna Nook. the only thing you can do with a Nook is read. I don't read. Damn! UGH! So I did what any reasonable person would do. I plugged it in to the charger and turned it on and off. Nothing! Just a little light that indicated it was getting power! So I figured I'd do the next reasonable thing. Pull. The. Battery.
The nook isn't too big. It is smaller than my Netbook. My Netbook has a battery. The back of the Nook looks like my phone. My phone has a battery. I did not see ANY indication that this damned Nook has a battery. If it did, you had to be MacGyver to figure out a way in. I was gonna call my friend who also has a Nook, but it was after midnight and despite my anxiety, I didn't feel as though this negated a "WTF? It's after midnight!" call. So I did the next best thing. Google: Remove Nook Battery. Wa-la! Google told me to pry the cover off with my fingernails. I looked at my hands. Yep. I bit those off already. Thankfully, my fingers are like claws themselves and I managed to pry the thing off. In tact. Bonus! And then I saw the battery.
The battery of a Nook looks much like a phone battery. I was surprised. So I go to pull it out. Wrong. That sucker is screwed in. With a little tiny screw. Like a screw from eye glasses. Those little screws that hold your lenses in your glasses. The ones that fall out sometimes and your lens pops out. Then you have to crawl around on the floor, half blind, looking for a screw the size of a deer tick. Because that is what gets eye glass manufactures off. The thought of half blind people looking for that screw. Yeah, well that was the screw that was in the Nook. So down the stairs I go. To look for a tiny assed screwdriver so that I can pull this battery.
My husband is very tool savvy. I know that if I don't use the correct screw driver I can strip the screw. I know this because EVERY. time. I use a screw driver he tells me. Luckily I found a screw driver that worked. And unscrewed the screw. Of course I dropped the screw on the floor. Thankfully, not only was the floor clean, I was able to wear my eyeglasses so the screw was found relatively quickly. And I pulled the battery. And nothing. Screen still said it was loading. UGH! UGH! UGH! I replaced the battery, screw, back cover, and went to seek knowledge from my pal Google.
Have you ever Goggled "Frozen Nook screen"? It's a lot like Goggling side pain, nose pain, toe pain... anything like that. Yep. You automatically have cancer and you are gonna die before you get in to see your doctor. A Frozen Nook screen is the screen of death. Your machine has malfunctioned and well, you should have gotten a Kindle. Shit. I just bought a broken Nook and worse than that, I can't read the book I wanted to read. So I did what any other person would do. I plugged it in and prayed. Then I feel asleep.
When I woke up, I played Song Pop and then I tried to turn the Nook on. It booted right up! And then I saw the book titles. And then I realized how dorky my friend was. I also realized that Nook batteries don't last long at all. So if you found this post because you Goggled: Frozen Nook screen, just plug the damned thing in. Or return it and buy a Kindle.
